Grandma. What can I say? Where do I start? You have passed from this world, and I cannot help but rejoice for you! I know there is no time in heaven, but you have been there for 5 earthly days now, and I wonder what you have been doing. I imagine you meeting your Lord and Savior, kneeling before Him on knees that no longer ache; glorifying Him in fullness of awe! I imagine your reunion with your beloved Jake. Oh how I wish I could see you reunited in heaven. I can see you dancing on the streets of gold, singing praises to your Savior, telling him about all of us.
I cannot begin to express the honor it was to be with you when you passed from this earthly world. Spending your last day with you was the most difficult thing I have ever done, but I will never regret it. You waited for all your children and gave them a chance to say goodbye. Grandma, there were 34 people in your small hospital room when you went to be with your Savior. I can’t imagine you wanting it any other way. If anyone knew how to pack a room, it was you grandma. You always found another place, so someone could come in. Seeing you gasp for breaths was so very heartbreaking. Watching mom and all your children, and grandchildren standing by your bedside was a testament to their love for you. You passed away so peacefully that we weren’t sure you were really gone. The room filled with such a sweet sorrow when you left us grandma. There was an instant feeling of emptiness in the room when you died. You have left a huge hole in our lives.
Your faith in your Lord and Savior was unwavering till the end. Oh how the devil tried to sway you. How relentless he was till your last days. We all rejoiced in the sweet victory when you won your race Grandma. Now we are here to continue running. How can we fill your shoes? May the Lord be gracious to us all as we try. If I could be half the women you were, oh if only I could. The time you spent in the Word of God, and the time you spent on your knees puts me to shame. May I learn to lean on God, and fully trust in Him for ALL things. The way He worked in your life, and the miraculous things he did for you is a testament to the relationship you had with Him.
I was trying to explain to some cousins that you were more than a grandma to us. They all knew what I meant. You were our grandma, our mentor, our friend. Your relationship with us was so personable. You made everyone feel like your number one person. You cared so deeply about us. Your laughter and jokes were such a joy to be around. The sleepovers at your house, playing telephone with you in the kitchen, and hanging out in your “coma” (food storage room); so many sweet memories.
The last time I spoke to you in your room at the Heimstaed I was at the door lingering and I made eye contact with you and gave you a little wave and a silly smile, and you locked your beautiful eyes on mine and said “you have such a beautiful smile Sara”, I actually laughed at you like we so often did, but you said it again “no, you really have such a beautiful smile Sara”. Oh how I treasure that moment now. You were so genuine, and I will never forget the look on your face when you told me that.
One Friday night me and few other grandchildren came to your place. I think it was 11 PM, but you were always a night owl. We started talking about heaven. I know it was nearing 2 AM, and you still didn’t want us to leave. We shared with each other what we were all looking forward to most in heaven. As always, you said “I want to see my Savior first of all, but then I want to see my beloved Jake whom I so long to see again.” To know that you are eternally rejoicing in heaven with your Savior and grandpa is such a wonderful feeling. You leaving has been so sad, because we will miss you so. Our weeks will feel so empty not being able to stop in at your place. We love you Grandma, and it is a privilege to be part of your legacy. May I never stray from what you stood for, and may the Lord be gracious to us as we grieve for you! I love you, and you meant more to me than you could ever know.
He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. John 7:38